Our Eyes Are Fixed On: Jacob Longoria

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Every year, everything always seems to go wrong on Jacob Longoria’s birthday. Next month, he’ll take the Oral Fixation stage in “Icing on the Cake” to talk about how he managed to turn his worst birthday yet into one of the best days of his life. 

Jacob Longoria is a 32-year-old from Mission, Texas. A graduate of The University of North Texas, he recently married his lovely wife Kasie. His hobbies are kayak fishing and screenwriting. And he is looking forward to sharing many of his stories.

Fixated Facts:

What other story did you consider submitting to Oral Fixation? For “Partner in Crime,” I was going to submit the story of my roommate and I flipping a canoe and then becoming a part of a search mission for two lost college students… that turned out to be us.

Who is your favorite cartoon character and why? Daffy Duck, because he spoke his mind all the time.

What’s the weirdest compliment you’ve ever received? You look like Bradley Cooper from the neck up, but Zack Galifianakis from the neck down.

What’s the most embarrassing mistake you ever made? I got to be assistant manager at a store and I hadn’t met all my coworkers. One day I had an employee miss a day of work without calling in. I let it slide, but when she was out a second day I called and left a voice mail saying she didn’t have to worry about coming in that weekend, because two days missed without a call can be instant termination. Little did I know, she was pregnant and had just given birth.

Name one thing you miss about being a kid? Naps.

What’s the best book you’ve read in the past decade, and why would you recommend it? My Autobiography by Charlie Chaplin. When I thought my day was horrible, I would read about young Charlie Chaplin searching the streets for food and stumbling upon half a loaf of bread in a puddle of mud and realize my life wasn’t that tough after all.

Sneak peak: “When it’s birthday something always goes wrong. When I turned seven, my friend Hector fell off my grandma’s swing. He cried and everyone gave him the attention. When I was a teenager my birthday parties consisted of only my grandparents drinking coffee. Why? Because teenagers don’t come to birthday parties with the word ‘coffee and cake’ on the invite. When I turned 28, things were going to be different.”

Don’t miss Jacob on the Oral Fixation stage on Tuesday, May 10.

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